Maybe I should go into the basics of me. I have always been a late bloomer. I kind of feel like I have a version of Peter Pan Syndrome. I have held onto my childhood for as long as I could, which may be part of my problem.
The biggest thing that I am a late bloomer in is my coming out. I kind of knew I was gay when I was in high school, but I was scared to admit it. I was scared to admit it to my classmates and family, and most ridiculously, scared to admit it to myself. I should have come out in high school; I could have gotten comfortable with it before heading off to college. There were several other guys that I could have talked to at the time to help me through it. In college, I didn't come out because I got very involved with a religious organization. I know that has nothing to do with my coming out, but again, it all had to do with the people I was surrounded with. I enjoyed my time in that group of people, and I honestly didn't know how some of them would react. I ended up graduating and finding a great job in a small town near the university I attended, which many of my college friends also did. So, I finally came out a few years after I had graduated. This is the worst time I could have come out. I am no longer surrounded by guys who are gay and may possibly be interested. The guys I seem to meet who are interested are either skeezy (gross), old, completely in the closet, or young guys from the college who generally want nothing to do with me.
I'm not really motivated by the need for sex or a relationship, though. I'm happy being the person I am. I have a great job, wonderful friends, and genuinely enjoy my time alone. But I do want to go on dates and have that familiar/romantic relationship with somebody. So for now, my search is mostly online. It has been interesting, but not very productive. I'll probably end up posting a few of my more educational or funny experiences on here later.
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