Recently, I've realized that I am notorious for making blanket statements. Not only do I make them, but I am completely unapologetic if somebody is offended by them. Don't get me wrong, I know that blanket statements are technically a bad thing, but they make everything so much easier. I don't have time to stop and think about every facet of my statement before I say it.
In my first post, I made a statement about the other gay guys in the area. I'm well aware that not all of the guys around me are "skeezy (gross), old, completely in the closet, or young guys from the college who generally want nothing to do with me." There are plenty of great guys in the area. Some are already in relationships, some aren't interested in me, some I'm not interested in, and some I've never met. My blanket statement lumped these guys in with the others even though I know better. Like I said, I just don't feel the need to stop and list out every possible gay man there is near me. It's much easier to point out what frustrates me and move on. I don't get offended by these types of statements, and maybe that's why I'm so insensitive to this topic. If I do make a blanket statement that you're offended by, please ignore it and keep reading. :)
March 21, 2011
The Scotsman
I feel like telling the story of The Scotsman. It's not the most exciting story, but it does have its interesting moments.
So, last Halloween I was invited to a party at the house of a friend of mine. I know The Host through a coworker, The Cat Lady (I call her that because of her six cats). I went to the party as a vampire since my name kind of relates to a vampire in a way. Not long into me being at the party I noticed The Scotsman. He kind of kept to his group of friends (which included Lady Gaga, Mario, Luigi, and The Red Queen) like I tend to do in social situations. I have my own introverted tendencies, but he went one step further. He was so introverted that he would whisper to his friends instead of actually talking to a group. None of this had anything to do with the fact that I got the feeling that he was "family", as The Cat Lady would say, pretty quickly.
I started to mingle around the party and found out that The Red Queen grew up in the same town as The Host and The Scotsman. I had a few group conversations that involved my group of friends and his group of friends. I also started to get the idea that he was attracted to his roommate Mario. Through my mingling, I ended up with a one-on-one conversation with The Red Queen and asked her if The Scotsman was gay (I was pretty drunk at this point). She told me that he wasn't and that she had even asked him, but she didn't sound too convinced.
At some point, Mario and my friend, Country, had taken a liking to each other. They were dancing with each other, I was dancing with Lady Gaga, The Cat Lady was cleaning things, etc. Then, as I came out of the kitchen, I ran into a scene where Country was on the ground holding her knee, Mario looked pissed, and The Scotsman looked guilty. I don't really know what happened to cause the scene or what happened after that, but the whole night was kind of a mess after that.
The plus side to the night was seeing The Scotsman and finding out that he grew up in the same town as The Host. I just so happened to know The Host's 6th grade teacher. The Teacher is a good friend of mine by some sort of twist of fate. When I described the night to her and my thoughts on The Scotsman, her response was, "I love The Scotsman. I always suspected he was gay. Y'all would make such a good couple. I'll get on that."
Months went by, and I never heard anything more on it. Finally, The Teacher told me that she messaged The Host on Facebook to talk to him about what she thought about The Scotsman and myself. The Host thought that the two of us as a couple made sense and he actually heard a rumor about The Scotsman being gay. He said that he would try to find out what he could as fact.
Within a week of this I actually ran into The Scotsman in a bar with Lady Gaga and Luigi, who are married. I was there with The Cat Lady and First Year. The Cat Lady went to talk to the couple, but The Scotsman never came over. Eventually, The Host showed up with his boyfriend and started talking to the other group. Still, I never heard anything from The Host or The Scotsman.
Maybe I should have taken the initiative to go over to talk to him, but I never knew him well enough to start a conversation on my own. Maybe something will come of this later, but for the time being, things are kind of in a sort of limbo of not knowing.
I'm also sorry if this story seems uber-random, but I'm not in the mood for editting. I realize that this post is kind of heavy on the nicknames, and I'm sorry if it's hard to read. Right now I think this is my only story that involves so many people. I'll try to keep things more concise from now on.
So, last Halloween I was invited to a party at the house of a friend of mine. I know The Host through a coworker, The Cat Lady (I call her that because of her six cats). I went to the party as a vampire since my name kind of relates to a vampire in a way. Not long into me being at the party I noticed The Scotsman. He kind of kept to his group of friends (which included Lady Gaga, Mario, Luigi, and The Red Queen) like I tend to do in social situations. I have my own introverted tendencies, but he went one step further. He was so introverted that he would whisper to his friends instead of actually talking to a group. None of this had anything to do with the fact that I got the feeling that he was "family", as The Cat Lady would say, pretty quickly.
I started to mingle around the party and found out that The Red Queen grew up in the same town as The Host and The Scotsman. I had a few group conversations that involved my group of friends and his group of friends. I also started to get the idea that he was attracted to his roommate Mario. Through my mingling, I ended up with a one-on-one conversation with The Red Queen and asked her if The Scotsman was gay (I was pretty drunk at this point). She told me that he wasn't and that she had even asked him, but she didn't sound too convinced.
At some point, Mario and my friend, Country, had taken a liking to each other. They were dancing with each other, I was dancing with Lady Gaga, The Cat Lady was cleaning things, etc. Then, as I came out of the kitchen, I ran into a scene where Country was on the ground holding her knee, Mario looked pissed, and The Scotsman looked guilty. I don't really know what happened to cause the scene or what happened after that, but the whole night was kind of a mess after that.
The plus side to the night was seeing The Scotsman and finding out that he grew up in the same town as The Host. I just so happened to know The Host's 6th grade teacher. The Teacher is a good friend of mine by some sort of twist of fate. When I described the night to her and my thoughts on The Scotsman, her response was, "I love The Scotsman. I always suspected he was gay. Y'all would make such a good couple. I'll get on that."
Months went by, and I never heard anything more on it. Finally, The Teacher told me that she messaged The Host on Facebook to talk to him about what she thought about The Scotsman and myself. The Host thought that the two of us as a couple made sense and he actually heard a rumor about The Scotsman being gay. He said that he would try to find out what he could as fact.
Within a week of this I actually ran into The Scotsman in a bar with Lady Gaga and Luigi, who are married. I was there with The Cat Lady and First Year. The Cat Lady went to talk to the couple, but The Scotsman never came over. Eventually, The Host showed up with his boyfriend and started talking to the other group. Still, I never heard anything from The Host or The Scotsman.
Maybe I should have taken the initiative to go over to talk to him, but I never knew him well enough to start a conversation on my own. Maybe something will come of this later, but for the time being, things are kind of in a sort of limbo of not knowing.
I'm also sorry if this story seems uber-random, but I'm not in the mood for editting. I realize that this post is kind of heavy on the nicknames, and I'm sorry if it's hard to read. Right now I think this is my only story that involves so many people. I'll try to keep things more concise from now on.
March 20, 2011
T
A few years ago, I signed up on a social networking site for gay men, let's call it Site G (I try to keep things as anonymous as possible). On Site G, I started to get messages from this guy who was a few years older than me. His profile didn't have a lot of information on it, and his profile picture was only from the mouth down. I was just starting out at meeting and talking to people online, so none of this made me stop and think.
Eventually, we exchanged email addresses and started emailing back and forth. I was a little hopeful that I would get to know his name from these exchanges, but every time a message came in, instead of his name being in the "Sender" section there was only the letter T. In time, certain things from T made me start to wonder about his actual identity. Some of the things he said, along with his residency (my college town), his age, and who he lived with (his cousin), started to sound like a former manager that I worked for in college.
The Manager was always very nice to me, and sometimes, I felt like some of his kindness may have actually been from him having a crush on me (there were always rumors that he was gay, and I wasn't out yet at the time we worked together either). Maybe it was just me being crazy, but that was what I always thought. After he quit, he graduated and got a job in a town about an hour away, but he never moved there. He still lived were he did in college. I saw him a few times after I had graduated, but we had very short conversations because I was always in a rush to get somewhere else.
Now, back to T. About the time I noticed the similarities I also noticed how unequal our knowledge of each other was. He knew what I looked like and much more personal information from my profile since I actually filled mine out. He also knew my full name from the emails I had sent. It was my personal email, so my full name showed up in the "Sender" section.
This is when I decided to do some research. I started with what I suspected. If the information that I did know about T didn't match up with The Manager, I had nothing to worry about. I found a free online people finder and typed in The Manager's name. Once I found the right information for The Manager, the residency and age matched up with what T had on his profile, so I dug deeper. I found a people finder that would also search email addresses. When I did the search, I found out it would give you the full email except for 3-4 characters before the @ sign. This search turned up an email that was identical to T's (assuming the 3-4 mystery characters were the same). T's email address was very particular, so I find it highly unlikely that there just happens to be another person with the same name as The Manager that also has an email address eerily similar to T's.
In the next message I sent T, I asked him if he was somebody I already knew. I waited anxiously for his response, and when it came in, he had completely ignored my question. So, I called him out on ignoring my question and let him know that when he was ready to be honest, I would be waiting. I never heard back from T. I did hear from The Manager, though. But not in the way I thought I would. He would message me on Facebook to see how I was doing from time to time. I've ignored every message he's sent so far. I even received one from his cousin (Didn't T live with his cousin?) asking if I was the same person who worked at a grocery store with The Manager. Apparently, he thought maybe he was sending messages to the wrong person and had his cousin confirm it for him.
So, thanks to T, I try to keep things equal. If I know something about a guy, then they deserve to know the same about me and vice versa. I'm also very good at finding information about people online. I'm not proud of it, and I only look things up if a guy is kind of shady. I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my naivete.
Eventually, we exchanged email addresses and started emailing back and forth. I was a little hopeful that I would get to know his name from these exchanges, but every time a message came in, instead of his name being in the "Sender" section there was only the letter T. In time, certain things from T made me start to wonder about his actual identity. Some of the things he said, along with his residency (my college town), his age, and who he lived with (his cousin), started to sound like a former manager that I worked for in college.
The Manager was always very nice to me, and sometimes, I felt like some of his kindness may have actually been from him having a crush on me (there were always rumors that he was gay, and I wasn't out yet at the time we worked together either). Maybe it was just me being crazy, but that was what I always thought. After he quit, he graduated and got a job in a town about an hour away, but he never moved there. He still lived were he did in college. I saw him a few times after I had graduated, but we had very short conversations because I was always in a rush to get somewhere else.
Now, back to T. About the time I noticed the similarities I also noticed how unequal our knowledge of each other was. He knew what I looked like and much more personal information from my profile since I actually filled mine out. He also knew my full name from the emails I had sent. It was my personal email, so my full name showed up in the "Sender" section.
This is when I decided to do some research. I started with what I suspected. If the information that I did know about T didn't match up with The Manager, I had nothing to worry about. I found a free online people finder and typed in The Manager's name. Once I found the right information for The Manager, the residency and age matched up with what T had on his profile, so I dug deeper. I found a people finder that would also search email addresses. When I did the search, I found out it would give you the full email except for 3-4 characters before the @ sign. This search turned up an email that was identical to T's (assuming the 3-4 mystery characters were the same). T's email address was very particular, so I find it highly unlikely that there just happens to be another person with the same name as The Manager that also has an email address eerily similar to T's.
In the next message I sent T, I asked him if he was somebody I already knew. I waited anxiously for his response, and when it came in, he had completely ignored my question. So, I called him out on ignoring my question and let him know that when he was ready to be honest, I would be waiting. I never heard back from T. I did hear from The Manager, though. But not in the way I thought I would. He would message me on Facebook to see how I was doing from time to time. I've ignored every message he's sent so far. I even received one from his cousin (Didn't T live with his cousin?) asking if I was the same person who worked at a grocery store with The Manager. Apparently, he thought maybe he was sending messages to the wrong person and had his cousin confirm it for him.
So, thanks to T, I try to keep things equal. If I know something about a guy, then they deserve to know the same about me and vice versa. I'm also very good at finding information about people online. I'm not proud of it, and I only look things up if a guy is kind of shady. I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my naivete.
Nicknames
In the past few years, I've realized that nicknames are a must. Yes, we all have nicknames for each other that are cute or silly, but I'm talking about the nicknames that helpful in nature (if that makes sense). When it comes to gossip of any sort, nicknames help to keep track of who's involved and help in the event that somebody actually overhears.
Mostly, nicknames have become a must for any guy I happen to meet online. I don't usually know their names, but I'll bring them up to friends to see what they think of the current situation. I don't want my friends to think that the guy I want to talk about is the same guy that I stopped talking to a week ago, so I use nicknames to help everybody know who we're talking about.
I've used locations, physical features, college majors, careers, personality traits, and several other things as nicknames for guys. Some guys even manage to end up with two or more nicknames. One guy in particular had three: one I had given him, one my friend gave him on her own, and one that was the town he lived in because my coworker only likes to use cities.
Anyway, the purpose for this post is to kind of give you a heads up that if you see random words capitalized, those words are probably a nickname for a friend of mine or a guy I know.
Mostly, nicknames have become a must for any guy I happen to meet online. I don't usually know their names, but I'll bring them up to friends to see what they think of the current situation. I don't want my friends to think that the guy I want to talk about is the same guy that I stopped talking to a week ago, so I use nicknames to help everybody know who we're talking about.
I've used locations, physical features, college majors, careers, personality traits, and several other things as nicknames for guys. Some guys even manage to end up with two or more nicknames. One guy in particular had three: one I had given him, one my friend gave him on her own, and one that was the town he lived in because my coworker only likes to use cities.
Anyway, the purpose for this post is to kind of give you a heads up that if you see random words capitalized, those words are probably a nickname for a friend of mine or a guy I know.
A Few Basics
Maybe I should go into the basics of me. I have always been a late bloomer. I kind of feel like I have a version of Peter Pan Syndrome. I have held onto my childhood for as long as I could, which may be part of my problem.
The biggest thing that I am a late bloomer in is my coming out. I kind of knew I was gay when I was in high school, but I was scared to admit it. I was scared to admit it to my classmates and family, and most ridiculously, scared to admit it to myself. I should have come out in high school; I could have gotten comfortable with it before heading off to college. There were several other guys that I could have talked to at the time to help me through it. In college, I didn't come out because I got very involved with a religious organization. I know that has nothing to do with my coming out, but again, it all had to do with the people I was surrounded with. I enjoyed my time in that group of people, and I honestly didn't know how some of them would react. I ended up graduating and finding a great job in a small town near the university I attended, which many of my college friends also did. So, I finally came out a few years after I had graduated. This is the worst time I could have come out. I am no longer surrounded by guys who are gay and may possibly be interested. The guys I seem to meet who are interested are either skeezy (gross), old, completely in the closet, or young guys from the college who generally want nothing to do with me.
I'm not really motivated by the need for sex or a relationship, though. I'm happy being the person I am. I have a great job, wonderful friends, and genuinely enjoy my time alone. But I do want to go on dates and have that familiar/romantic relationship with somebody. So for now, my search is mostly online. It has been interesting, but not very productive. I'll probably end up posting a few of my more educational or funny experiences on here later.
The biggest thing that I am a late bloomer in is my coming out. I kind of knew I was gay when I was in high school, but I was scared to admit it. I was scared to admit it to my classmates and family, and most ridiculously, scared to admit it to myself. I should have come out in high school; I could have gotten comfortable with it before heading off to college. There were several other guys that I could have talked to at the time to help me through it. In college, I didn't come out because I got very involved with a religious organization. I know that has nothing to do with my coming out, but again, it all had to do with the people I was surrounded with. I enjoyed my time in that group of people, and I honestly didn't know how some of them would react. I ended up graduating and finding a great job in a small town near the university I attended, which many of my college friends also did. So, I finally came out a few years after I had graduated. This is the worst time I could have come out. I am no longer surrounded by guys who are gay and may possibly be interested. The guys I seem to meet who are interested are either skeezy (gross), old, completely in the closet, or young guys from the college who generally want nothing to do with me.
I'm not really motivated by the need for sex or a relationship, though. I'm happy being the person I am. I have a great job, wonderful friends, and genuinely enjoy my time alone. But I do want to go on dates and have that familiar/romantic relationship with somebody. So for now, my search is mostly online. It has been interesting, but not very productive. I'll probably end up posting a few of my more educational or funny experiences on here later.
Starting?
So, I may very well be the worst gay man in the world. Ever. I've said so for a long time now, and I'll get into the reasons why later. I just want to make sure that I've said that at the very beginning so later on in reading this (and I'm speaking hypothetically because who knows if anybody WILL read this) you don't stop yourself and say "This guy in only barely gay."
I've thought about doing a blog for a while. A friend of mine has been a ravenous blog reader for years now. She's constantly going on about people that I'm supposed to have some sort of clue about. It seems that every time I interrupt to ask, "Who?" the response is always, "From this blog I've been reading." Then, a coworker of mine started blogging to chronicle her first year on the job. She's had some interesting posts and definitely some posts that remind me of experiences from my first year. Finally, my blog addicted friend started one of her own to keep track of her weight loss trials and triumphs. She's just starting out, but I really enjoy what she has to say. She tells me about the comments she gets from people she doesn't know who read her blog and sympathize with her or have ideas for her to try or encouragements to get to her goal.
I finally decided to start my own blog while riding in the back seat of the car with my blog addicted friend and her husband. Nobody was talking about blogs at all; it was just a random thought I had on the hour and a half car ride. I guess the reason I'm doing this is partly out of the vanity that my thoughts and stories are both interesting and sought after. But I also started this in the hopes that maybe my stories will give somebody a laugh or help somebody out in someway. Even if you don't necessarily agree with everything I have to say, hopefully, you'll leave here with something new to think about or maybe a story to tell your friends that starts, "Listen to how stupid this guy is..." Haha.
Edit: After writing four posts on one account and trying to follow a friend, I realized that the name that would display when I followed somebody was not what I wanted or thought it would be. So, I salvaged my posts and started a new account that would show the name I wanted. So, these next few posts will look like I wrote them all in one afternoon, but they were actually written over the course of a weekend. Sorry, but I'm kind of anal about certain things.
I've thought about doing a blog for a while. A friend of mine has been a ravenous blog reader for years now. She's constantly going on about people that I'm supposed to have some sort of clue about. It seems that every time I interrupt to ask, "Who?" the response is always, "From this blog I've been reading." Then, a coworker of mine started blogging to chronicle her first year on the job. She's had some interesting posts and definitely some posts that remind me of experiences from my first year. Finally, my blog addicted friend started one of her own to keep track of her weight loss trials and triumphs. She's just starting out, but I really enjoy what she has to say. She tells me about the comments she gets from people she doesn't know who read her blog and sympathize with her or have ideas for her to try or encouragements to get to her goal.
I finally decided to start my own blog while riding in the back seat of the car with my blog addicted friend and her husband. Nobody was talking about blogs at all; it was just a random thought I had on the hour and a half car ride. I guess the reason I'm doing this is partly out of the vanity that my thoughts and stories are both interesting and sought after. But I also started this in the hopes that maybe my stories will give somebody a laugh or help somebody out in someway. Even if you don't necessarily agree with everything I have to say, hopefully, you'll leave here with something new to think about or maybe a story to tell your friends that starts, "Listen to how stupid this guy is..." Haha.
Edit: After writing four posts on one account and trying to follow a friend, I realized that the name that would display when I followed somebody was not what I wanted or thought it would be. So, I salvaged my posts and started a new account that would show the name I wanted. So, these next few posts will look like I wrote them all in one afternoon, but they were actually written over the course of a weekend. Sorry, but I'm kind of anal about certain things.
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